


Decisions, decisions.

by StrawberryCoolatta



Series: Embrace The Void But Better [1]
Category: Hollow Knight (Video Games)
Genre: Gen, I still dont know how to use tags, ghost is a cryptid moments, i cant come up with good titles, quirrel is sad but only a little bit he's ok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:21:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28097577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StrawberryCoolatta/pseuds/StrawberryCoolatta
Summary: Quirrel has a terrible day.
Relationships: Monomon the Teacher & Quirrel (Hollow Knight), The Knight & Quirrel (Hollow Knight)
Series: Embrace The Void But Better [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2092323
Comments: 30
Kudos: 136





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thuderdragonfruit was the one who originally came up with this idea, and we both were talking about it together, so I recommend checking out their fic as well!

The Uumuu was finally dead, and Quirrel now knew why he knew its name. Why the architecture around him was so familiar. While only a small amount of his memories had returned, it was enough to know where he was going next. His small friend, the one who had landed the killing blow on the Uumuu, was already waiting there.

“Did she call you too then?” Quirrel asked once he had landed next to the tiny wanderer. “I realize it's no coincidence we arrive together. Though much of my memory is blank, this place I recall. Within these chambers the Teacher sought to store the Kingdom’s knowledge and at its core, she stored herself. To save Hallownest, the Teacher willingly became a seal, but upon herself she enacted an additional protection. Though I cannot recall its happening, I played a part in that feat. She called me here now, to reverse that protection. All in aid of you.”

If the wanderer had been affected at all by what Quirrel said, it didn’t show. He took off the mask on his head, holding it up. In all of his time spent traveling, he hadn’t once questioned where it came from. He hadn’t even noticed how one of the three masks of the Black Egg temple was identical to the one he wore. The mask seemed to disintegrate out of his hands, reforming inside of the container that held his former Teacher. As soon as Quirrel saw her again, more memories began to return in the back of his mind.

“Do not hesitate. The choice to reform was hers, not mine. She knows what you would do and seems to welcome it.” 

Again, the wanderer seemed to have no response. Then they began walking towards the tank until they were standing only a few inches away. Quirrel wasn’t exactly sure what they were going to do, he knew it had something to do with prying into the dreams of others, but other than that he had no idea. The wanderer pulled out a small glowing nail, and struck out at the tank. Immediately, they collapsed to the ground, going still. 

“Friend? Are you alright?” Quirrel had been startled by how suddenly the small thing fell, but then realized they were probably sleeping, having gone into Monomon’s dreams. At least he thought that was how it worked. He felt a bit silly for calling out immediately, both Monomon and the wanderer knew what they were doing. Probably. He stepped back, sitting down. He would have some time to think while he waited for the wanderer to finish what had to be done.

If it had been his choice, he would have found some other way to do this. While Quirrel couldn’t remember much, he knew he cared about this person. He didn’t want to lose her immediately after getting her back. Why did they even need to reverse the protection? Hallownest was already gone, what was there still to save? Nothing worth more than the life of his teacher. At once, Quirrel scolded himself for thinking so selfishly. Of course there were still things left to save. There were the people he had met on his travels such as the Nailsmith he had sought out and that Relic Seeker, there was the Mantis Tribe, who while not allies, still deserved to live, and even that sad little town on the surface. If nothing were done, he knew that the infection would overcome all of them eventually. He didn’t know why he knew that whatever the wanderer was doing could halt the infection, he just did.

Quirrel really wished he had all of his memories back.

He looked up at Monomon again, desperately trying to reach into the back of his mind to any kind of memories at all. They all felt so far away. There weren’t any clear memories, just blurry and vague images that held no meaning at all. He remembered information about Hallownest and the archives, he remembered that it was Monomon who had created the Uumuu and the other smaller beings like it, and he remembered where all of the important notes stored across the archives were, but he couldn’t remember _her. _He could feel tears of frustration welling up in his eyes, and he felt pathetic that he could barely remember anything about someone so important to him, and-__

____

____

He then realized his small friend hadn’t moved for some time. It shouldn’t be taking them this long, Monomon wouldn’t put up a fight for something she wanted to happen. Maybe something had gone wrong? Were the two maybe… talking? He didn’t know if it was possible. He had only heard stories about the moth tribe, and how they were able to traverse the dreams of others. He had always wondered how that would work, and he never actually expected to witness it happening- kind of. It just looked like the wanderer was sleeping, not traveling through someone’s thoughts.

Quirrel took a closer look at the wanderer, they didn’t appear to be breathing. But perhaps he was just missing it. Quirrel moved closer to them, and gently laid a hand on their sleeping body. They were _freezing. _Quirrel almost pulled his hand away in shock, and panic began to set in. Maybe something really did go wrong, and he had just sat there lost in his own thoughts instead of doing something to help! Quickly, he felt for a pulse on the wanderer’s neck. Nothing. He tried again on their wrist. Also nothing. This wasn’t good at all, something must have gone terribly wrong and Quirrel had no idea how to fix it. He could feel himself starting to cry again, his friend may have just died in front of him! He looked up at Monomon, as if she would somehow have an answer to this. She just continued to float peacefully in her tank, obviously still alive.__

____

____

“Oh what do I do now!” Quirrel said aloud, putting his hands over his face. Was Hallownest doomed now? Was it his fault? His anxiety levels were rising with each new thought, when he heard a noise that snapped him out of it.

He looked up, and saw his friend was sitting up, alive and well. Quirrel breathed a huge sigh of relief, nearly falling backwards.

“Oh friend, you gave me quite a scare there,” Quirrel tried to say calmly, hoping that the panic still wasn’t apparent in his voice. “That was quite a long time you were asleep, I was worried something bad had happened.”

With the wanderer awake, then that had to mean Monomon was gone. But when Quirrel looked into the tank, she was surprisingly still there and still alive.

“Um. Did something go wrong?” Quirrel asked. 

The wanderer shook their head. Quirrel was surprised he actually got a response.

“Why didn’t you complete the task then?” He didn’t want to say kill. “Did you spare her?”

The wanderer nodded.

“Why do you hesitate?” Quirrel asked. “Mercy is a fine thing, but you and her agree this must be done. Please, be brave, friend.”

His small friend just stared at Quirrel for a few seconds before turning around and descending past Monomon’s tank. They had clearly made up their mind, and Quirrel couldn’t do anything to change it.

“Ah, if you are waiting a bit longer to do this, please be careful of the acid on the way out,” Quirrel warned them. “The archives have flooded since I had last been here.”

Again, the wanderer didn’t seem to hear him at all. Then, Quirrel watched in absolute horror as the little wanderer took a flying leap directly into the acid.

“FRIEND!!! NO!!!!”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to split it into three parts instead of just two. Not because it's too long, just because I thought it fit. Also the reason why the knight is suddenly being referred to as Ghost is because it switched to their perspective!

Quirrel had nearly burned his hand off trying to pull Ghost out of the acid, but other than that, he had been fine once he realized Ghost wasn’t in danger at all. 

Ghost wished they could have explained to him what they were planning to do, charades wouldn’t be enough, and they didn’t have the patience for that anyway. Instead, after making sure Quirrel was alright, they immediately started heading for the junkyard. They were planning on taking the shortcut through the City of Tears, going through the waterways was something they didn’t want to do again. It was awful down there! 

Eventually they made it, landing with a splash into the water. They didn’t even bother talking to the Godseeker, using the dreamnail the moment they walked up to her.

The Pantheons of the Masters, Artist, Sage, and Knight had already been completed. Ghost hadn’t even attempted the Pantheon of Hallownest, it was intimidating, and they had been procrastinating for way too long. But as they stared up at the entrance, they thought about why they were doing this. It was obvious at this point they were not empty. A pure vessel wouldn’t care about how gross the waterways were. A pure vessel wouldn’t visit their teachers frequently for no reason. A pure vessel wouldn’t go out of their way to find relics not just to sell, but so that the buyer would be happy. And a pure vessel certainly wouldn’t take the most difficult path there was just to spare their friend from grief. 

Ghost wasn’t even supposed to have friends. But that’s what Quirrel was, right? Yes, he was their friend. Ghost had a lot of friends! Yeah, they could say for certain that they weren’t empty.

They could do this impossible challenge, they thought to themself while looking at the Pantheon entrance. For Quirrel, Monomon, Herrah, Hornet, Elderbug, Sly, Cornifer, Iselda, Lemm, Bretta, Mato, Sheo, Oro, the Nailsmith, and all of the still living inhabitants of Hallownest! Oh and also Lurien. They had forgotten about him, they would be sparing his life as well.

Alright enough stalling. It was time to start.

\---

Quirrel had lost track of how long it had been since the wanderer had left. They had given him quite the scare by jumping into the acid like that. Quirrel had already had questions about his friend’s origin, and now he had even more. They really were quite the mystery.

Quirrel thought back to when they had first met at the Black Egg temple. The little thing looked like they were trying to break it, like there was something beyond the door. There probably was, now that he thought about it. And it had to do with Monomon, her mask along with two others had been displayed there.

“What were you guarding there?” He asked aloud. There was no response from Monomon of course, but it was still nice to pretend he was talking to her.

Another time he had seen the wanderer was at the entrance to the Mantis Village. He wasn’t planning to go any farther in, he didn’t want to intrude too much, but his friend looked like they did. They also looked very shaken up too, as if something had happened. Quirrel had advised them to fix up their nail, it was in quite the sorry state. Speaking of which, he had forgotten to mention to them how their nail had changed. He hadn’t seen anything like it before, he wondered how much pale ore it must have taken to make it look like that. If he could, there would be a lot to talk to the wanderer about. Maybe they could write? If not, he could try teaching them! They certainly would have a story to tell, he had seen them traveling in so many dangerous places that he himself had barely gotten past. Even Deepnest! That felt like such a long time ago when they had met each other there. The wanderer had kept splashing him with the hot spring water, which was the first time besides in Mantis Village when they had shown an emotion other than silent stoicism. Quirrel never did find that distant village he had been looking for unfortunately. 

Maybe after this he could keep exploring Hallownest? He could find all the places he missed before! But he didn’t feel quite the same anymore, he felt older, and more tired, as if the mask itself had been keeping him young. Now that he thought about it, this was concerning! Was there some sort of magic seal that had kept him alive? Was he going to die soon? He didn’t even get to see where all the rain came from in the City of Tears! 

Quirrel took a breath, trying to calm himself down. He shouldn’t panic too much, he was probably just exhausted after the fight with the Uumuu. After this he would go to the underground lake that held that water. It would be nice. A lot better than the archives, which were flooded with acid, electricity, and explosive creatures. That lake must be quite peaceful if the ground had stayed solid all these years. 

“Hello Quirrel.”

Quirrel was suddenly shaken out of his thoughts as a voice called out to him. His heart racing in surprise, he looked around quickly to see if anyone else was in the room. No one except him and Monomon… who was staring directly at him.

“...Miss?” Quirrel said softly, the edges of his vision going dark. Uh oh. “You’re awake?”

“Yes, it seems I am,” Monomon replied. “But are you alright? You look very unwell.”

“I am going to pass out,” Quirrel declared. “Right now.”

Then he fell forward and towards the ground, doing exactly that.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this was NOT supposed to take as long as it did. But I got writers block near the beginning and end (I hope it isn't too apparent here) and it went through several rewrites. Then I decided to take a break and see if I could beat Nightmare King Grimm finally and a few of the Pantheons. Then I would get back to writing. Then one NKG defeat and 7 pantheon bindings later-
> 
> Now I finally finished it at 2 am in the morning. No proofreading. I'm so tired.
> 
> Anyway, here's me projecting all of my anxiety and awkwardness onto Quirrel. Sorry Quirrel.

Quirrel woke up on a bench. The last thing he remembered before that was seeing Monomon awake. Did that actually happen? Or had he dreamed it? He looked over to his left, and there she was. She hadn’t noticed that he woke up yet, and was sorting through tablets. Quirrel was nervous to announce that he was now awake, he didn’t know what to say at all. What were you supposed to say to someone you barely remembered and hadn't seen in years? Well, he supposed he better get it over with.

“Monomon?” he called out hesitantly.

“Oh! Quirrel, you’re awake!” Monomon exclaimed, setting down the tablets. “I’m glad you’re alright.”

“I’m sorry I fainted like that,” Quirrel said, embarrassed. “I’ve been having a very stressful day today.”

“It’s quite alright, me waking up was very unexpected,” Monomon reassured him. 

“If you don’t mind me asking, how did you wake up?” Quirrel asked. “From what I recall from my fractured memories, I don’t think you were supposed to wake up ever.”

“Yes, I’m puzzled about that too,” Momonon said, tapping a tentacle to the bottom of her mask in thought. “There wasn’t supposed to be any way for me to wake up, I was basically dead without actually being dead. I suppose there could be one way… but that would be nearly impossible. The seals would have to be broken from the inside, but that could have only happened if the vessel was free and the old light was destroyed.”

“The old light?”

“Oh, I apologize, I do have some explaining to do to you.” Monomon took a deep breath, something she always did before a long speech. “I don’t know how much you remember, but before the king of Hallownest was here, there was another higher being who we only know as ‘the old light’ because she has been almost completely forgotten, including her name. She was enraged by this, and started infecting the dreams of bugs- literally. That was how the infection was created. Our king tried many ways to prevent this, but the closest he came was to create an empty vessel, a being without a will or a mind for the old light to infect, and then trap her there. As further protection, he enlisted my help along with two others to sleep forever as a way to seal away the vessel and the old light. Only with our deaths could the seals be broken.”

“Oh.” Quirrel paused before asking his next question. “When you were asleep, did you happen to see my friend, a small bug wielding a nail?”

“Yes, I did. Though I could not interact with them directly, I do remember seeing them,” Monomon answered. “I thought they would kill me, but instead they just sat there, as if thinking it over first. And then they left. This does confirm my suspicions that this vessel is not empty, and neither is their sibling.”

The wanderer was a vessel? That did explain some things, but Quirrel still wasn’t exactly sure what a vessel was. He didn’t want to keep bothering Monomon with questions though, so he would ask for more of an explanation later. 

“I would have thought that this vessel would have banished the captive light instead of trapping it in their own mind, but in order to do that they would have to kill me,” Monomon continued. “So what did they do instead? They must have had something to do with my awakening, but I can’t even think of anything they could have done.”

“Maybe there was a way that no one else knew about?” Quirrel suggested. “Maybe they wanted to tell us, but couldn’t.”

“Yes, the Pale King did make sure none of them had voices after all,” Monomon said, a faint hint of contempt in her voice. 

There was a bit of an awkward silence after that, only the sound of sizzling acid and charged lumaflys being heard. Quirrel fiddled with his hands awkwardly before deciding to try breaking the silence.

“So uh, sorry your archives flooded,” Quirrel said.

“It’s quite alright, anyone in charge of keeping this place well kept must have fallen to the infection,” Monomon said with a wave of one of her tentacles. “And the acid doesn’t hurt me anyway. But it does hurt you! I hope you were able to get through alright.”

“Miss, I’m an explorer, I can handle a few challenges like this,” Quirrel said confidently.

“Oh, an explorer? You’ll have to tell me about all of your adventures then,” Monomon replied. “You were a scholar before, do you remember any of that?”

“Oh, right,” Quirrel said, scratching the back of his neck. “I don’t remember much. I have vague memories, but nothing that specific. I’m sure they’ll come back to me eventually though!” He really hoped they would.

“I remember, perhaps I could try telling some stories to help jog your memory?” Monomon suggested. “Do you remember the little drawings you scribbled in the corners of your notes? You didn’t often do it on the important papers, but if you did you tried to blot them out. Sometimes you forgot though, but I always found your drawings amusing. I’m sure if we looked around we could find some.”

“Ah, I can remember a little of that.” Quirrel wasn’t lying, he could now picture himself sitting at a desk late into the night, writing away for hours. It felt like a memory, and he hoped he wasn’t making it up. 

“Sometimes I was able to bring you along when I was summoned to the White Palace, any memories of that? It was almost blindingly white, and of course there was the king's new… ‘security measures’ he was trying out.’

“Oh I do remember that now! I didn’t get to go often, but from what I remember the palace was beautiful,” Quirrel said. Maybe he would be getting his memories back after all! Of course, it wouldn’t be this easy, but maybe with time it could all come back. “There isn’t much left of it anymore unfortunately.”

“There isn’t? I know something went wrong, but I don’t know how badly,” Monomon said, a bit concerned. “You’ll have to catch me up on all that I missed. But first, I’ll tell you about all the times you used to try and carry as many tablets as you could! I kept trying to tell you it was alright to take multiple trips when organizing, but you were too stubborn. You kept almost falling due to the weight, and sometimes you actually did! The first time you dropped them all the noise was so loud I thought something drastic had happened and you were injured.”  
“A tablet had fallen on my foot, it was painful!” Quirrel said, feeling his face heat up in embarrassment. Wait! He remembered something else, the tablet _had _fallen on his foot. Of course it was the pain he remembered.__

__“Oh and I can never forget the time you accidentally called me mom,” Monomon laughed._ _

__“Now that I could have done _without _remembering,” Quirrel mumbled, his hands now over his face. How embarrassing.___ _

____“Don’t be embarrassed, it was very sweet,” Monomon said, still laughing. “And don’t worry, I don’t think anyone else heard.”_ _ _ _

____Okay he had to admit it was funny that he had accidentally called Monomon ‘mom’. He was sure he hadn’t been able to sleep that night due to being kept awake because he was so embarrassed._ _ _ _

____“Anyway,” Quirrel said, trying to change the subject. “On a more grim note, I’ll tell you about the palace. I went to go see it after I had been told of its existence, and nothing was there. Just some rubble, a ruined entrance, and a dead… guard I think it was? It didn’t look like any type of bug I had seen before.”_ _ _ _

____“Ah, the kingsmoulds,” Monomon nodded. “They aren’t really bugs, just creatures of void.”_ _ _ _

____“Oh okay, I understand,” Quirrel said, not understanding at all. “But yes, there were a few dead husks as well. It was quite the sorry sight, especially now that I can recall a bit of what it looked like in the past. I couldn’t stay there long, there was something about the air that made everything feel off.”_ _ _ _

____“And what of the rest of Hallownest?” Monomon sounded concerned again._ _ _ _

____“Some parts of it are still standing, but there were barely any living bugs I could find. Almost everything is infected. Most of the buildings are now in ruin or are falling apart, and hostile infected creatures are waiting to kill you around every turn. Ah… I’m making this sound very bad, aren’t I.”_ _ _ _

____“So our sacrifice then, it was all for nothing,” Monomon softly said. “Our king tried everything, and even he couldn’t succeed.”_ _ _ _

____“I’m sure that what you did helped!” Quirrel said, trying to reassure her. “The infection isn’t as bad as it could be!”_ _ _ _

____“Wait,” Monomon said quickly, in sudden realization. “Back to our earlier discussion, remember how I said the seals only could have been broken if the old light was destroyed? She was the source of the infection! If she’s gone, does that mean the infection is gone too?”_ _ _ _

____Monomon stood to her feet- er, tentacles, and started heading to the exit._ _ _ _

____“Come on Quirrel, let’s go see!” she said, the excitement very apparent in her voice._ _ _ _

____“Oh- yes, of course,” Quirrel said, quickly getting up from the bench and jogging to catch up to her. The entrance wasn’t that far away, and the two were able to reach it in no time._ _ _ _

____Outside, it looked as if nothing had changed, but something felt very different. It was the air, something about it had changed, but Quirrel couldn’t quite put his finger on it. Then he turned around._ _ _ _

____“Madam, look! The oomas!” he said, pointing at the swarm of creatures floating around the archives. Instead of the sickly orange he was used to, the cores of the oomas and uomas were a bright, neon green._ _ _ _

____“Oh, all of them were orange with infection before, weren’t they,” Monomon said softly, deep in thought again. “It truly is gone.”_ _ _ _

____There was a silence as the two stared at the now uninfected oomas, before Monomon started excitedly talking._ _ _ _

____“We need to see the rest of the kingdom now! With the infection gone, it can be rebuilt, and fixed up, Hallownest can heal! Oh, and I need to see Lurien, and even Herrah! While we weren’t particularly close before, all the time we spent together in the dream world has made me consider her a friend. I need to study these creatures, I need to see if there’s any hints of the infection at all or if it’s really gone for good! I must record all of this!”_ _ _ _

____As Monomon continued talking, Quirrel began to think. The infection, it was gone? It seemed too good to be true. But there was the proof, right in front of him. Oh! The wanderer! They had done this, had they? He needed to find them, he needed to thank them. Thank them for getting rid of the infection… and for not killing Monomon. Where even were they? He would have to find them soon. They had to be somewhere around, right?_ _ _ _

____“...we can go back up to the temple of the black egg and check it out, right Quirrel?”_ _ _ _

____“Huh?” Oops, he hadn’t been paying attention to what Monomon had been saying. “Sorry, Miss, I was lost in my own thoughts.”_ _ _ _

____“It’s alright, I was just saying that we should go to the temple of the black egg now that the seals are broken!”_ _ _ _

____“The wanderer- you know them as the vessel -may be there as well!” Quirrel said. “Maybe that’s where they went! There’s a stag station nearby but uh- I don’t think you would fit. We’ll have to take the long way.”_ _ _ _

____“Yes, I don’t think taking a stag is the best idea,” Monomon laughed. “But I’m sure the way back will be a lot safer. Shall we go?”_ _ _ _

____“Yes, but uh- before we do, I just wanted to say something. I’m really glad you’re back and I’m sorry for standing by and letting my friend almost kill you instead of finding another way,” Quirrel said. He doubted Monomon would be too upset about that, but he was still anxious! “Even though I didn’t know it until recently, I really did miss you.”_ _ _ _

____“Aw Quirrel, you don’t have to apologize!” Monomon said, her voice softening. “Don’t feel guilty, this plan was entirely my doing.”_ _ _ _

____“Oh, um. Okay. Sorry.” Oof this apology was getting very awkward. He should have probably waited till later, but what's done is done now. “We can go now.”_ _ _ _

____“Very well, I suggest we take the route with the least amount of acid,” Monomon said, motioning left. “Although the landscape may have changed since I was last awake.”_ _ _ _

____Quirrel nodded, following her. He hoped he would find the wanderer up near the black egg temple, he had a lot to say to them now. A being as small as that really did hold Hallownest’s fate on their shoulders. How brave. He couldn’t wait to see them again._ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was an alternate ending for this I would have forshadowed in chapter 2 by giving the godseeker the delicate flower. But then I decided that I wanted there to be a happy ending! So I changed it. There will be more by the way, you will find out what happens with Ghost.
> 
> But for now, I hope you enjoyed! Stay tuned for the sequel! And special thanks to my friend Thunder for giving me all of these ideas.
> 
> (also im so sorry about the endings im so bad at ending things)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic] Decisions, decisions.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28188711) by [watery_melon_baller](https://archiveofourown.org/users/watery_melon_baller/pseuds/watery_melon_baller)




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